As it turned out, the dog belonged to a kindly old wizard called
Calypso who, as kindly old wizards do, was being held captive
along with many of the lands other great heroes by an evil
sorcerer known as Sordid. It was, of course, inevitable that he
would save the day, vanquish Sordid, using the time honoured ‘Pit
of Fire’ technique and be returned home safely and without a care
in the world. And that’s really where it should have ended...
But the Gods (in this case Profitos and Cashinor) will often play
games with the lives of men and our by now rather unwilling
hero, soon found himself the subject of a barely believable
attempt by Sordid to claim his revenge from beyond the grave!
It so transpired that a young farmer’s son, whose ignorant and
simple minded father*** did not recognise the magical potential
within the boy, and burnt one of Sordid’s old spellbooks,
accidentally reviving the evil wizards spirit.
This boy was called Runt. He and Sordid left the farm and hatched
a cunning plot to bring Simon back to their world by way of a
magical wardrobe.
Although Simon was brought back as
intended, he materialised in the
wrong place and was sent off on a
new quest by Calypso to find some
magical fuel, required to enable the
wardrobe (in which he travelled) to
complete the journey back home.
Once again, he fell foul of Sordid and
ended up losing his body to the evil
sorcerer who then departed to our
dimension, leaving Simon bodiless and nicely set up for the sequel
you’ve now got in your hands.
* Such as: What’s this and why does it do that when I fiddle with it?
** Which would be fun at first, but a lot less so, when the cheese had
turned.
*** Some things stay the same, no matter what dimension you live in.
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THE STORY SO FAR...
Last time... on Simon the Sorcerer!
Since it’s been a while since we last delved into the realm of
sarcasm and sorcery, it seems appropriate to do a quick recap on
what’s been happening to our hopeless hero in case you didn’t
buy the first games.
Simon’s life was pretty ordinary once • he did ordinary 12-year old
boy things, thought ordinary 12-year old boy thoughts* and lived a
basically unremarkable life until, on his birthday, a dog appeared
on the doorstep carrying a package in its mouth. He eagerly
peeled off the wrapping paper and discovered that it was a
strange and mysterious book. Thinking nothing of this, and being
unable to read the weird symbols contained on its pages, the
book was removed to the attic and the dog was subjected to the
strange blend of affection and harmless torturing usually afforded
by boys to their faithful companions. It was some time later, when
the dog
went missing and was eventually discovered by Simon in the attic,
with the strange book open on the floor in front of it, that things
really started to go a bit Pete Tong.
For some reason, Simon could now
understand the meaning- less handwritten language on the pages and, his
curiosity getting the better of him, he
spoke the words of an
incantation that would change his life
forever!
There was a flash of light and a rather cheap looking magical
portal opened up before him (graphics were all 2D in those days).
The dog jumped inside and Simon followed, hoping against hope
that it would lead to a land without maths homework, where a
boy could have adventures and meet bizarre and interesting
characters and where it rained pizza on a daily basis. He was
almost completely right, except about
the pizza.**
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